Daddy, there's a monster next to the bed

... and his name is Zander. I say this not because he attempts to bodily devour Christina every 2-3 hours, starting with her chest, but rather because of the noises he makes. He is a veritable orchestra of monster noises while he's sleeping: grunts, gurgles, moans, sighs, crying, heavy breathing and, of course, the occasional, entirely unabashed, sound of a waste product download. Sometimes, he's so loud that I have to put a pillow over my head to drown him out. I always thought pre-verbal children either cried, made nonsense sounds, or were quiet ... little did I know they could easily find work as extras in "Where The Wild Things Are".

Showing off the captured Zandermonster: