Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Bling out your dead

Between watching lots of "Six Feet Under", Christina taking various death-themed pictures [like this and that] and listening to bits of "Stiff", Christina and I have had a couple of discussions about what we'd like done with our remains if [that's right, "if", not "when" ;-)] we die. My take it on it has been pretty pedestrian [namely, cremation], whereas Christina has come up with some unusual ideas, like wanting her skeleton to be on display in our house, or plastinated as an anatomy exhibit [both ideas that I firmly vetoed, because they're just creepy.]

However, we think we've found a better idea: get turned into a LifeGem. The LifeGem company takes cremation ashes and turns them into diamonds. Granted, you can only get blue and yellow diamonds, the best clarity they offer is VVS and it's kinda pricey, but it's still a pretty cool idea [and presumably their process will get better and cheaper as time goes on]. Finally, men can have that diamond pinky ring they always wanted and women can get jewelry from their husband even after he's dead ;-)

A few other thoughts come to mind:

- It's probably only a matter of time before a rapper gets shot in some sort of rap beef and turned into a bunch of diamonds that are then proudly displayed in the teeth of his bereft posse. Or maybe his LifeGem ends up in the dentition of the guy who shot him, kind of a rap version of a hunting trophy.
- If you lose a limb, presumably you could also have it cremated and turned into a diamond. At least that way you'd still sort of have it ...
- There's the potential for repartee that terminates all further conversation: "Oh, what a lovely ring ! Where did you get it ?" "That's, literally, my dead husband, Sid ..."
- It'd be kind of a creepy heirloom to pass on to your kids: "Hey kids, here's a bit of your dead mother. Treasure it."
- It seems like you'd feel obliged to wear it, or display it somewhere, all the time. Sticking it into a drawer somewhere would just be ... disrespectful.

Actually, hold on, shouldn't it be called a DeathGem ? That name probably wouldn't test well in a market survey ...


Blogger Christina said...

Geez, you're so super funny, what a lucky gal I am.

10:31 AM  

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