Monday, September 19, 2005

This bank is protected by highly-trained professionals

[Random observation]
Apparently, the security guard motto is "observe and report", not "kick @$$ and take names, if necessary". Maybe that explains why the security guard standing outside my bank weighs on the order of 300lbs, with about 150lbs of that weight solidly concentrated in a massive gut. He'd be pretty much useless if there were any need to move a distance of, say, 20 feet in under 60 seconds since there's lots of inertia and not much accelerative force in that body, but as an immovable watch-tower I suppose he does the trick.

Then again, maybe he's actually hiding a dwarf underneath his tightly-stretched white polo shirt, ready to leap out and start swinging some serious ax ...

3 Comments:

Anonymous Michael Courage said...

Security guards aren't always that passive. For example, this guy took on several armed bank robbers:

http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=237622

I can't decide which is crazier, the guard starting a firefight in the middle of Harvard Square during the day or the robbers who thought they could get out of the square in a car.

12:13 AM  
Blogger Corey said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:03 AM  
Blogger Corey said...

We just watched a Family Guy episode where Peter (the father) got liposuction, while his fat son Chris passed on the procedure and wanted to lose weight through diet and exercise. After a bunch of effort, they put Chris on the scale, and Peter said "it says you actually gained weight".

He proceeded to lift up Chris' shirt to see what was going on, and there was what appeared to be a pop can sticking out from under his gut. While asking what it was, Peter gave it a tug while lifting Chris' gut, and out popped Stewie, the baby of the Griffin family.

An absolute riot, to be sure. And here you are making gut/dwarf references. Too funny!

//bikerscum

11:05 AM  

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