Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Paying the cosmic piper

I'm beginning to suspect that somebody, somewhere made a deal with some occult powers: let the Boston Red Sox win the World Series and, in return, you can mess with our environment for a while. Consider: since the Red Sox won last year, we've had a winter that set snowfall records, a spring that set records for rain and cold, a "red tide" that's the worst in decades and is killing the shellfish industry, and now an unseasonably hot and humid start to the summer. I'm waiting for the plague of locusts, or toads to start falling out of the sky.

Personally, my guess is that the person treating with the Dark Powers is Theo Epstein. You don't get to be the general manager of a major-league baseball team at 28 by being a choirboy [actually, in Boston, I think the only thing being a choirboy gets you is some affection]. My theory is that he made his first Faustian bargain to become the GM of the Red Sox, figured "Hey, that wasn't so bad, nobody knows that I now have goat's legs and cloven hooves, let's see what else I can get out of this ol' Cthulhu bugger" and things went from there.

[No, I don't actually have anything against Theo Epstein. I wouldn't know him if he came up and bit me on the @$$. He's just a convenient scapegoat around which to rally any potential villagers with pitchforks.]


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